Analyzing Negative Beliefs and Patterns
As a hopeless romantic I often find myself perceiving a relationship one way, while the other person involved sees it another way. Specifically during disagreements. I find myself ruminating over what was said, what was done and if I could have done anything better. While it’s important to reflect, it is also important to make sure you’re seeing things the way they really are. Which sometimes is hard to do when you’re feeling emotional or hurt. Here’s a list of how we can think things are worse than they are.
Identify which of these you do when you’re thinking, if any:
Personalizing: thinking all situations and events are about you or revolve around you.
“Everyone was looking at me and wondering why I was there. I know they must have been talking about me.”
Magnifying: Blowing negative events out of proportion.
“This is the worst thing that could happen to me.”
Minimizing Positives: Ignoring the positive factors of a situation.
“Acing the test was no big deal.”
Minimizing Negatives: Overlooking the negative factors of a situation.
“Walking out in a dangerous neighborhood is no big deal because nothing really bad happens.”
All-or-Nothing Thinking: Seeing things in black and white with no in-betweens.
“Either I will be CEO or I will be unemployed.”
Jumping to Conclusions: Making a false connection between one set of circumstances and an outcome.
“I blew the test; I’m never going to be able to get into college” “My heart is pounding. I must be having a heart attack.”
Over-Generalizing: Thinking that if something happens once, it will happen every time.
“I am never going to be able to change my behavior. I always screw up.”
Self-Blaming: Blaming yourself rather than identifying specific behaviors that you can change.
“I’m no good.”
Mind Reading: Assuming you know what other people are thinking.
“My mom is mad at me because she think is I am screwing up again.”
Catastrophizing: Taking something small that happened and exaggerating it.
“Since I’ve already screwed up. I’ll never be able to succeed.”
Awfulizing: Entering a new situation assuming that things won’t work out or that you will fail before you even try.
“I’ll never be able to afford anything. I may as well not work at all.”
Self-Loathing: thinking things that make you feel bad about yourself.
“I don’t deserve things to get any better. “I’ am no good, just as my father/boss/ significant other said.”
Now that you’ve identified various thought patterns that keep you in a negative headspace, challenge your negative thoughts and beliefs with this free worksheet!
